"DEMISSE PROTINUS"

 

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Column: Chick Gifts (TM)

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Last update: 26/04/2004

 

SEMINARS FOR WOMEN

  1. "Are you ready to leave?" -- Definition of the word "yes"
  2. Appropriate rhetorical questions (Formerly "Honey, do I look fat?")
  3. Elementary Map Reading
  4. Crying and law enforcement
  5. Advanced Math Seminar -- Program your VCR
  6. You can go shopping for less than 4 hours
  7. Gaining five pounds vs. the end of the world: a study in contrast
  8. The Seven-Outfit Week
  9. PMS -- It's YOUR Problem, Not Mine
  10. (formerly: It's Happened Monthly Since Puberty -- Deal With It)
  11. Driving I: Getting past automatic transmissions
  12. Driving II: The meaning of blinking red lights
  13. Driving III: Approximating a constant speed
  14. Driving IV: Makeup and Driving--It's As Simple As Oil and Water
  15. The Super Bowl: Not a Game--A Sacrament
  16. Telephone Translations (formerly: "Me too" equals "I Love You")
  17. How to Earn Your Own Money
  18. Gift-giving Fundamentals (formerly: Fabric Bad, Electronics Good)
  19. Putting the Seat Down By Yourself: Potential Energy is on Your Side
  20. Know When to Say When: The Limits of Makeup
  21. Beyond "Clean and Dirty": The Nuances of Wearable Laundry
  22. We forget birthdays, you forget sports stats: LET'S LET IT DROP
  23. MYOB: Proper response to other couple's public arguments
  24. Yes, You Can Buy Condoms (formerly: WE learned to deal with the embarrassment)
  25. Joys of the Remote Control: Reaping the Benefits of 50+ Channels
  26. What Goes Around Comes Around--Why His Credit Card is Not a Toy
  27. The Penis: His Best Friend Can Be Yours
  28. His Poker Games: Deal Yourself Out
  29. Committment Schomittment (formerly: Wedlock Schmedlock)
  30. "To Honor and Obey:" Remembering the small print above "I Do"
  31. Why Your Mother Is Unwelcome In The House

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