Young grasshopper, you seem to have strayed from the path...

Now, I can't be sure what your path is. We all have our own paths. Some are long, some are short. Some are hard and lead to toil and misery, some are that of Brad Pitt.

It is not for me to know your path, grasshopper. I barely know my own.

But one thing I do know: if your path leads here, you have gone astray. If you were hoping to fuck Angelina, try a different path. Ask Brad, not me. He seems to have things well under control, generally speaking.

These are your options:

• Go back
• Start again
• Click here and see if the link provides happiness. (50/50 chance)
• Search your destiny below: